this cutie was taken by Crazyegg95 in 2005 and is from flickr

for the main blog of poetry, whimsy and maybe beauty, now

Friday, 6 February 2009

like a charnel house
clean on the surface
black on the inside
I feel like shutting
everything down;
from a hundred years to the next
bones will pile up
within them shards of
my fraudulence
and within me splinters of
pierce friendships
are lost
I cannot see beyond
what I am not.

(c) 2009 park rose/lizardrinking


anglophile said...

When looking a ourselves, it is always easier to see faults than perfections; they hit the mental eye stronger. I think that when others look at ourselves, they tend to overlook the bad in favor of the good. Very evocative poem.

lizardrinking said...

I wonder how much of it has to do with a more widespread societal/historically religious view. It is said that the Dalai Lama was surprised by the amount of angst and poor self-image many westerners go through and have.

I think, though, when there is more choice, and the chance for more voices to be heard, there is also more uncertainty, and it depends upon your society and upbringing, too, whether you are considered inadequate, or consider yourself inadequate because you do not have the latest bling. Advertising kind of operates on the premise of insecurity and yearning. As a female, I like having that choice and opportunity to have a voice, but it doesn't make for a homogeneous society, which can be seen as a very peaceful society, such as in Japan. I think the price to pay for freedom of expression is maybe this dissonance? Most days I am willing to pay it, uncomfortable though it may be. The alternatives are, just as, if not more, uncomfortable for many.

Anyway, thanks. I was feeling pretty low :)

anglophile said...

The problem with a homogenous society with fixed roles is that you have no hope of changing your role. I would prefer to have those periods of self-doubt and confusion in exchange for not being bound to one societal role and not being allowed my freedom of choosing who I will be. What is that famous quote by Ben Franklin? "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Not quite the original context, but can be made to fit this argument as well, if you use safety in the psychological sense.

this cutie was taken by Crazyegg95 in 2005 and is from flickr