this cutie was taken by Crazyegg95 in 2005 and is from flickr

for the main blog of poetry, whimsy and maybe beauty, now

Saturday, 24 May 2008

don't ever change

The letters we move in losing
carefully stowed out of harm's way

Yet, with email, when everything is so easily deleted, or conversely, stored, does it still hold true that we keep those types of letters that show a part of our diamond soul as reflected in the eyes of another? Email can have a plethora of sentiment, or a dearth of the same. How easy it is to send love. How easy it is to send hate. And how easy it is to delete the words of love, while caught up in the emotion of hate. Even though we know it will hurt us and the relationship later. Even though we know that the failure to preserve and respect the love will destroy it, and only strengthen the hate. And then there is nothing left to confirm the knowledge you have that something was once there, or to reveal to you, when you are in a more rational space, that nothing ever was.

This is from Carol Ann Duffy, published in 1990 - a time when letters were still a physical thing. Paper can always be burned, though, not that it seems to be an option for this narrator. I particularly like the eighth and ninth lines, or shall I say, they ring true.

Now, it is impossible for me to get blogger to align the poem the way it should be, so the sixth line, Don't ever change, should be to the far right.

The 'Darling' Letters (1990)

Some keep them in shoeboxes away from the light,
sore memories blinking out as the lid lifts,
their own recklessness written all over them. My own...
Private jokes, no longer comprehended, pull their punchlines,
fall flat in the gaps between the endearments. What
are you wearing?

Don't ever change.
They start with Darling; end in recriminations,
absence, sense of loss. Even now, the fist's bud flowers
into trembling, the fingers trace each line and see
the future then. Always... Nobody burns them,
the Darling letters, stiff in their cardboard coffins.

Babykins... We all had strange names
which make us blush, as though we'd murdered
someone under an alias, long ago. I'll die
without you. Die. Once in a while, alone,
we take them out to read again, the heart thudding
like a spade on buried bones.



Anonymous said...

This is cool.
I admit, I keep some old letters / cards too of sentimental value, stored away incase I ever want to see them again, but I'd regrett throwing them away, probably cause it's like letting go of whatever that ment to me.

lizardrinking said...

I seem to have a personality that veers from very high to very low - when very low, the things that I treasure even, are not safe ;) And yes, unlike fantasy, I regret my actions later :)

anglophile said...

I am a thrower-outer. Many sentimental things I have tossed along the way, but I have kept all my correspondence, from high-school hall notes to postcards from absent friends to e-mail. And the e-mail, to me, has brought the greatest comfort. Just a few clicks and I can read those words again, those words inspired by me, meant for me at that time. I do not dwell, but it is nice to remember from time to time.

Meandering Melbourne said...

This is a lovely post. I've been thinking a lot about this lately, in part having unearthed a treasure of letters from my late teens to late twenties, which were pretty fascinating if I say so myself. And also in part because I lost some treasured emails when my hard drive crashed. Tales of me leaving a long time job and friends' reactions, and my reactions to their reactions and so forth. Then again, with email I seem to only understand the "electronic" bit of it, and scribe away as if I am writing a letter. There's an Australian email archive project that I read about on the weekend: -- part of the joy of email is its ephemerality, and yet, I do enjoy on occasion glancing back at what people have written to me and what I wrote to them. Wonder why I don't print them out though, those treasured ones?

Anonymous said...

After being on the internet only a short time I have to say that letters have a different quality. I Love paper letters. Just like the News Paper, it is not the same to read online, you don't get that same relaxing Sunday morning read. You know the turning of the pages and passing segments back and forth. The iternet makes it a solitary Sunday! *can you really tell I have no Old Love letters? I married them! HA! Luv your post!

lizardrinking said...

You are a very lucky lady, ♥ fantasy ♥ Thanks for you comment.

this cutie was taken by Crazyegg95 in 2005 and is from flickr